Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Softly softly ..... gently gently .....



Hello sweet friends
I wonder if you're still there? .....
I don't know what to write, where to start .....

Here goes ..... I've been absent for almost four months
I never thought it would be that long
It's been a tricky time to say the least
Family~wise there has been an awful lot to cope with
I've been suffering with depression and anxiety
(still am I guess)
I wasn't going to say .....
but I feel that it's a v.important subject to be honest and open about.




I'm feeling much much better than I was
it's been a BIG battle
such dark and lonely times have passed
I'll not be defeated though.

I still have bad days
but I also get good days which is a wonderful feeling
getting little glimpses of the old me
the me who was fun and funny, excited and inspired
I enjoy those good days and try to ride the storm when the bad days fill my soul
(not always easy)

I still feel pretty exhausted
and my memory is shocking!
I hope it all comes back soon.

I didn't sew for about three months ..... not a stitch
I couldn't even come into my sewing room
Isn't that strange?
I just couldn't bear the thought.
I'm back in here now though
and have an exciting new venture to think about
one which has got me back into it
 I'll share with you soon
it's thanks to one very glorious lil' lady




My hands have not been idle though
I've been knitting knitting knitting
it's my therapy
mostly socks
I'll share them with you soon.




Mabel has grown SO much
and although she is a very naughty little tinker
and has trashed the sitting room carpet
plus most other things that I treasure
she is pretty adorable, luckily for her!
loving
gentle
soft as velvet
and funny.





She gets me out for a walk every day ..... come rain or shine
I don't always want to go to be honest but it's good for me
and tires her out so that I can have a little puppy free time.






This morning we saw our very first bluebell


I've just started posting a few pics on Instagram
I've changed my name on there to @sewsweetviolet
it's a little easier than blogging for me right now
but I'll not abandon my blog
no siree!
just not sure how often I'll be here
It could be a little sporadic
I just don't want to put pressure on myself.




Before I go I wanted to thank each and every one of you
who sent me the most wonderfully kind messages and emails
I'm sorry that I may not have always answered them
but they were so kind and uplifting
I have re~read them many times
they always make me teary
and every time they fill me with so much love.

'THANK YOU xxxxx"


BIG love
Jooles
xxx



26 comments:

  1. i'm so sorry that you have been going through such a rough patch. I can understand it, maybe, as I suffer from terrible anxiety some times. Medication has helped me. I hope you can get through this and enjoy your sewing and Spring! Your knitting is so pretty. You've got to tell us more about that:) Take care, Cindy

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  2. So sorry to read this but I am glad that the cloud is slowly lifting. Take it easy....you need plenty of time. Sunshine days give such a boost and your sweet puppy looks such fun. Hugs xx

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  3. Fingers crossed that the sun shines more for you; I have missed your posts. I should imagine that walking Mabel every day must help enormously. Can't wait to see your socks. xx

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  4. Lovely to see you posting and sorry to read you've not been at your best. As I write this I bet you'll get quite a few people admitting it as well - but I'm having issues at the moment with severe anxiety but hopefully we'll get it sorted - sending hugs - which I know can work sometimes :-). Thank you for sharing your gorgeous photos and oh my how lovely is Pink Milks shop!!! I wish I lived closer xx

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  5. My dear,
    I've been there, done that. Depression and anxiety (the latter is following the first one) are two things that must fight to. Must. If it were to give them a name, I'd say they are like two daemons that want and do everything to make you destroy yourself, in order to take your soul. Don't you EVER give up on them! Fight, fight, fight against them with all your weapons, among which an important one (maybe the most important) is to believe. I believe in God, but you can believe in whatever gives you strength and peace and trust and hope and makes you feel loved. Because you are loved, your soul is very beautiful and precious and it was given to you for you to bring joy in the world and to feel joy in your life.
    Once again: do never ever give up!
    I'm with you. We all love you and your works, but take your time and be kind with you. There is no hurry.

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  6. Lovely to 'see' you back Jooles.......just take your time.
    V xxx

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  7. So good to see you back Jooles, life sends us times like this.
    Just think of the good things you have in your life , and not the bad things .
    You have made a start , I always enjoyed your lovely posts, sending hugs & XXX

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  8. I am so very sorry to hear how you have been feeling for the past few months...I had a meltdown last year, and have found it hard going sometimes, but as Cristina says....fight it with all your might!...be kind to you, and find pleasure in everyday things like your georgous puppy mabel....what a beauty she is.
    Not sure if you are interested in reading books, but I am reading a book called "mindful moments" by Louise Adams which is lovely..hope your life gets better and better....just take your time, and don't expect too much from yourself xx

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  9. You have been missed, Jooles, and I'm so sorry that you've been going through a difficult time. It's good to read that the cloud is lifting and that you are beginning to feel a little more like yourself. It's a good feeling, isn't it? Your socks are such lovely colours and perfect for spring.

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  10. Thank you for being honest. My family went through the same journey a couple of years ago, most days are sunshiny now. But I know how dark it can be. God bless you on your journey xxx

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  11. I'm sorry for you . I send you all my best wishes of recovery from France . Take care .

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  12. I'm so sorry to read you've been going through a tough time. May the good days overtake the bad. Sending you good thoughts and a big cyber hug!!

    ps Love that multicolor knitting project.

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  13. So pleased to see you back here in this little space and I'm sorry to her that things haven't been great for you. Depression and anxiety are awful things but good for you for sharing, it affects so many of us, all in different ways. It's nice to know we are not alone x x x

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  14. HELLO,I know some of your feelings for I've been through this too! It is healing to share your thoughts,I think. You are strong,much stronger than you know;you will be fine! Yes knitting is very good!!!
    HUGS♥

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  15. I am sorry to hear about your anxiety and depression. My husband and other family members suffer from this, so I do understand. Your dog is just beautiful - is she a Whippet? Getting out for regular walks and crating beautiful items is always good for the soul. Look after yourself do the things that make you happy. XX

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    Replies
    1. Hi Julie
      Thank you for your kind words x
      Yes Mabel is a Whippet ..... Miss Mabel Whippy!
      Love Jooles x x x

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  16. So lovely to hear from you, dear Jooles. So sorry to hear that you have been having a difficult time- depression is an awful thing and robs us of ourselves, but I'm so glad that it is beginning to lift for you. It will pass- you won't feel like this always. Be kind & gentle on yourself- little steps. Mabel looks beautiful (and cheeky!). Walking can be such therapy & the beauty of a puppy is that they drag you out even when you feel like hunkering under the duvet. Sending you hugs.xx

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  17. I realise that this probably sounds like an easy thing to say, but might not be true, but yesterday morning I really was thinking about you and wondering how you were and what was happening in your life so I was so pleased when I saw this post pop up. I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through such difficult times, but I am pleased to hear that you are perhaps starting to come through the other side and that life might be improving. I don't know how you feel and would never say I do, but I do understand somewhat and more than I would say here, so I can say just keep going and keep on keeping on and you WILL come through and life will return to whatever your normal is. In the meantime know that you are not alone, your blogging friends will still be here and thinking of you and caring about you, even if like me we don't feel bold enough to get in touch. Take care of yourself and know that I am sending all good thoughts and hugs to you. xx

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  18. Oh joules, big hugs. Good to hear from you. Take things by the hour and be as kind to yourself as you can. We will be here. Xxx

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  19. May the sun always shine in your face and the shadows fall behind. It's great to see your posts again:)

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  20. Many of us have been where you are and understand more than you can know. It is wonderful to know that you are coming through it. Happy spring. x

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  21. What a lovely surprise to see your blog post! I hope you are coming out the other side of such a difficult time and that, as Miki says, you will feel the sun shining on your face again. Your honesty is wonderful to read, you are giving hope to those around you who might be struggling with something too x

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  22. Just came across your blog after you repinned something on my pinterest. Looks like a lovely place. I hope you will continue to feel better. I've had struggles for a long time now and can rarely manage to get started on any sewing projects. I felt hopeful reading your post, that maybe one-day I'll have good days too and then doing sewing and other things will seem doable.
    Hope to see more from you :)

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  23. So so sorry that life is so hard right now. My 19 year old son died in 1989. It took a long time before the sad feelings were replaced by the good memories. But the time came. Just put One foot in front of the other. Then live through the next several minutes. You have created a very precious blog. Thank you. Margaret

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